Guest User
March 6, 2024
My friend and I had a room booked at the local Holiday Inn. Once we heard there was a Red Carpet Inn in town, we canceled and ate the security deposit just to have the opportunity, nay, the privilege of staying at the Red Carpet Inn. It’s no understatement to say we were treated like celebrities upon arrival. The nice man behind the counter even asked for my autograph on a small piece of paper after I swiped my credit card. It really felt like we were being swarmed with paparazzi which tuckered us out so we made our way to our room. Upon entering, it was like I had just entered into a movie. The smell of cigarette smoke and the sound of domestic violence elsewhere in the hotel was the perfect touch of immersion to add to the red carpet experience. Move over universal studios, there’s a new player in town. They even included a piece of chocolate on our pillows! We must have booked the extra immersion package because I felt like one of the kidnapped children from black phone. The cigarette holes and yellow stains on the sheets had me crying for mommy but the dead bugs on the windowsill kept me company. Everyone knows celebrities only take cold showers so that they’re alert and ready to act and the Red Carpet Inn did not disappoint with the lack of any hot water I truly felt like I was ready for the spotlight. After listening to a motorcycle (presumably Nick Cage) circle around in the parking lot all night, we awoke to sample the free continental breakfast which consisted of a dirty coffee pot that was about a quarter full and a single brown banana. Hollywood Is very picky when it comes to waistlines and figures so this all made sense. Upon pulling away I was sad that my red carpet experience was over but the many potholes in the parking lot jarred me awake enough to get over my sorrow and look back one last time as the sun rose over the extravagant Red Carpet Inn. EDIT: The piece of chocolate was a dead fly.