Guest User
August 24, 2024
If you’re a fan of nonexistent service and culinary mediocrity, you’ll feel right at home here. Who needs landline phones in the rooms when you can enjoy the thrill of your calls to the front desk being ignored entirely? And when it comes to fulfilling requests, they truly go above and beyond—by making sure you get plenty of time to reflect, meditate, and maybe even write a novel while you wait your obligatory 1-3 hours. The missing door knob in the powder room? A bold design choice, obviously. Geysers that take 25 minutes to produce lukewarm water? Just another way they help you embrace minimalism. Conditioner missing from the bath products? No problem, just keep asking, because they sure won’t refill it. And don’t expect a hair dryer in the bathroom either—who needs dry hair when you’re in heaven? Forget hand towels or tissue boxes—who needs those when you can air-dry like a true pioneer? As for the water pressure, the shower seems to have made a conscious decision to conserve resources by barely functioning at all. Honestly, your own humble home is probably a luxury resort in comparison. Frequent power outages add to the ambiance, giving you that rustic, ‘off-the-grid’ experience. And the breakfast spread? Let’s just say it was a culinary masterpiece of disappointment. A true feast for the senses—if your senses are dulled beyond recognition.”